You know what? I’m finished with adulting, as the kids call it. Bills and insurance and rent and taxes. You can have it.
I would like to officially become a dog. Preferably a pup – or cat for that matter – who found a warm, forever home.
Just go with me on this for a minute.
I’d have a nice place, a comfortable bed, food and water every day. Probably a couple of toys and if I’m real lucky, I’d get to snuggle with Mom or Dad while they watched TV. Man, that sounds nice.
I mean, what would be the biggest worry of the day? Remember to pay bills on time? Heck no. If I’m a pet, there are no bills for me to pay. My word, I don’t even have opposable thumbs to get on a computer or write out a check.
In fact, money would mean literally nothing to me. Just long, rectangular pieces of paper – or round metal in the case of coins. Can you imagine? No more student loan worries or car payments.
Speaking of cars, what about the rides? I could stick my nose out the window and catch all those smells. Awesome.
Treats would be a definite highlight and I’m sure Mom and Dad would be the kind of pet owners who dole them out responsibly, so I wouldn’t even have to count calories. Sigh. Maybe I’d be fortunate enough that when Mom or Dad went to a fast food drive-thru, they’d get a plain burger especially for me. What? I’ve heard it happens. Now that would be yummy.
Speaking of eating, oh my word, the holidays! No more fretting about what to get people for presents! No more fighting the traffic and lines at the mall! Nope, not me. I’m a dog who got adopted by a wonderful family, so when the holidays arrive, it’s all about the fun and festivities and sneaking nibbles of turkey and stuffing from the kids who are visiting.
I’d have that child-like innocence and fascination with the world around me. Watching squirrels and birds in the front yard would be like the Superbowl and Christmas specials all rolled into one.
If I got sick, I wouldn’t have to worry about insurance and co-pays and making appointments. Mom and Dad would know when things weren’t right with me and they’d care enough to get me to the vet and get me better. It would be like when I was a kid and got to lie on the couch with my chicken soup. That feeling of being cared for really is special.
Instead of picking up on the latest doom-and-gloom news stories from the television, it would just be background noise. There really is something to be said for just not understanding some things.
Yes, being a pet in a good, loving home sure would be incredible.
It would be getting joy out of the simplest of things. Not letting life’s little daily hassles get you down. No more worries about relationships or people or finances or whether life will work out.
I’d run and jump and play with abandon. I’d wag my tail a lot. I’d give so many kisses. I’d be happy.
Without a doubt, I say: sign me up.
Jennifer Vanderau is the Publications and Promotions Consultant for the Cumberland Valley Animal Shelter and can be reached at [email protected]. The shelter accepts both monetary and pet supply donations. For more information, call the shelter at 263-5791 or visit the website www.cvas-pets.org. CVAS also operates a thrift store in Chambersburg. Help support the animals at the shelter by donating to or shopping at the store.