Self-hate is not how I’d recommend getting into shape, but it’s a method I’ve turned to over and over since I began running nearly 10 years ago.
The process starts when I look at the scale, my pace chart or even just myself in the mirror. First comes a feeling of shame and embarrassment, then a wave of anger. I take that rage out on myself and call myself fat, slow, lazy and other names I can’t print here.
Eventually I’m seeing red. And that’s when I perseverate on training. I will go hard for weeks or months on end and power through my body’s cries for help. Shin splints? Side stitch? Throbbing feet? I just soak in the pain and suffering and tell myself I deserve it all for letting it get this far.
Assuming I avoid injury, which isn’t always the case, the results arrive. And usually ahead of schedule.
The pounds fly off, my energy levels multiply, and I can start feeling definition in my muscles. But my attitude stays the same. Even as the compliments roll in, I struggle to acknowledge the results of my hard work because I still see myself as the same “fat guy” that began the journey.
This process is unsustainable. All of the peak fitness in the world means nothing if you’re still miserable in your own skin.
Burned out, sad and still angry, this is where my fitness cycle comes to a close as I hand over the steering wheel to an old vice: Binge eating.
It’s been a few months — and about 30 pounds of weight gain — since my latest training cycle, and I’m starting to feel the urge to get back into shape.
But as I begin to strap these running shoes on once again, I know fully well the process will have to change, both for the sake of my body and my sanity.
Positivity will be the key word for me going forward. I want to celebrate small victories and cut myself some slack when things don’t go according to plan. I want to focus on the person I want to become, instead of the one that I want to disappear.
Long story short: I don’t just want to look good, I want to feel good, too.
Old habits die hard, and I know a mindset shift doesn’t happen overnight, but I really want to do this the right way.
And that starts with a single step, and maybe just a little self-love.
1 step back, 3 steps forward
Waynesboro ultra-runner Rheeanna Walters has been counting down the days for a return to competition since having neck fusion in April.
Last weekend, her day finally arrived at the Grindstone 100K in Shenandoah Valley, Va.
As Walters described it, the race featured brutal climbing with heat and humidity that made her want to quit on Mile 25. With her crew instructing, “just keep going, see how far you can get,” Walters battled through two storms, hail, downed trees, fog, and quad-crushing downhill runs to reach the finish line.
Walters crossed the finish line in 17:13:34, as did fellow Waynesboro runner Michelle Benshoff (16:01:06).
Chambersburg endurance runner Laurie Dymond knows a thing or two about stacking up miles. The 58-year-old Dymond finished as a Top 25 runner in the field of 85 at the NEO24 in Brunswick, Ohio, piling up 74.7 miles over the 24-hour race.
Massive boulders were no match for Hagerstown’s Jana Fridrichova at the Boulder Beast 24-Miler in Lock Haven. Fridrichova navigated the race in 5:52:28 to take second in the 40-49 AG. She was joined at the finish line by Hagerstown’s Ellen Bentz, who clocked a 7:26:42 to take second in the 50-59 AG. The Boulder Beast 25K featured finishes from Chambersburg’s Richard Myers (3:45:17) and Matthew Walker (3:52:45), and Greencastle’s Rick Burkett (4:38:48) and Michelle Dawson (5:11:33).
Another grueling trail event, the Ironmaster’s Challenge 15K/20M/50K in Gardners, drew the attention of several Local.News runners.
Eric Brennan, of Chambersburg, was the sixth overall finisher in the 50K race. He clocked a time of 6:08:01 to lead fellow Chambersburg runners Matthew Smith (8:09:24), Mike Hepner (9:04:49) and Colin Fry (9:16:11).
Chambersburg’s Roque Zubia shined in the Ironmaster’s 15K, zipping to the finish in 1:39:02 to take second in the 40-49 AG. Zubia was chased by Fayetteville’s Gary Shoop (2:02:28), Chambersburg’s Nora Zubia (2:02:31) and Jody Shatzer (2:11:07), and Waynesboro’s Vicki Stinebaugh (2:05:35). As for the 20-mile race, Chambersburg runner Cody Kriner finished in 5:23:39.
In Smithsburg, Md., the Cinnamon Bun Fun Run 5K was chock full of area finishers. Smithsburg’s Rob Hovermale topped the field of 100 runners in 19:35, while Hagerstown’s Cheryl Scholl conquered the women’s field in 22:00. Top locals from the race included Waynesboro’s Danny Martin (2nd in 19:33) and Morgan Arden (10th in 24:34), and Hagerstown’s Will Marquiss (4th in 20:12) and Stephen Brooks (8th in 23:21).
Waynesboro runner Nathaniel Snyder ran away for victory at the Five Forks Church Autumn Harvest 5K in Shippensburg. Snyder won the race in 18:45, finishing more than two minutes ahead of James Kinton, of Chambersburg, who finished as runner-up in 20:53. Fayetteville’s Danielle Portier finished as top female in 24:41, while other top runners from the race included Mont Alto’s Shaun Kipe (3rd in 20:59), Waynesboro’s Dalton McKean (6th in 22:28), Josh Snyder (8th in 22:44), and Bryce Biser (10th in 24:37), Chambersburg’s Sam Goshorn (7th in 22:41), and Greencastle’s Mason Shaner (9th in 24:20).
In Mechanicsburg, Hagerstown’s Clayton Blank and Hillary Blank were both Top 10 finishers at the Homeland Hospice 5K. Clayton finished fifth in 20:16, while Hillary took ninth in 21:23.
A number of others were involved in races across the region and beyond, including Waynesboro’s Carrie Hott (1:37:30 at Run on the Rocks 10 Miler), Chambersburg’s Zach Johle (1:01:09 at Scottdale Fall Festival 10K) and Christine Metcalfe (2:23:14 at Philadelphia Distance Run Half Marathon), Fairfield’s Beverly Black (7:02 at Frederick Market Street Mile; 59:30 at Lake Needwood XC 10K), Fayetteville’s Wing Lam Cheung (23:19 at Philadelphia Distance Run 5K; 23:27 at Flyby 5K), and Hagerstown’s Umair Baig (1:04:54 at Susquehanna River 10K), Marc Griffin (2:07:12 at Susquehanna River Half Marathon), and Ariana Parra (2:18:44 at Run on the Rocks Half Marathon).
And finally, a shoutout to a trio of Local.News finishers from the Dewey Beach Sprint Triathlon in Delaware: Waynesboro’s Wynn Fertig (1:45:12) and Theresa Shank (2:06:23), and Fayetteville’s Glenn Scott (2:00:02).
And now, a look ahead:
Cumberland Valley TrailFest 5K/13.1M: Saturday, Oct. 5, 8:30 a.m., in Shippensburg. Challenge yourself on the Cumberland Valley Rail Trail in this event, which features race options for a 5K and half marathon. Learn more on timberhilltiming.com.
Dash for Down Syndrome 5K: Sunday, Oct. 6, 8 a.m., in Fayetteville. Norlo Park will serve as the backdrop for this race, which benefits Downright Perfect, LLC, an organization dedicated to providing essential support to families who have recently received a diagnosis for Down Syndrome. Find the race on timberhilltiming.com.
EdK Run 5K: Sunday, Oct. 6, 2 p.m., in Chambersburg. Meet at Dr. Edwin H. Sponseller CASHS Stadium for this race, which benefits the Livestrong program at Chambersburg YMCA. Check out race details on edkrun.com.
Also: Hands-On House Race 5K/10K/13.1 (Saturday, in Lancaster); Hershey Rotary Club 5K (Saturday, in Hershey); HEAL Color Splash 5K (Saturday, in Hagerstown, Md.); Lions Ambulance 5K (Saturday, in Jacobus); Live Laugh Love 5K (Saturday, in Shippensburg); Luau 1M/5K/10K (Saturday, in Manheim); Luau 1M/5K/10K/15K/13.1 (Saturday, in Hughesville); Run to Revive 5K (Saturday, in Manheim); Worlds End Fall Classic (Saturday, in Forksville); York White Rose Run 5 Miler (Saturday, in York); ZERO Prostate Cancer Run/Walk 5K (Saturday, in Harrisburg); Tough Mudder Poconos (Saturday-Sunday, in Long Pond); 5K Run for Recovery (Sunday, in Lancaster); Jackie Lithgow Foundation 5K (Sunday, in Hummelstown); Lititz recCenter Youth Triathlon (Friday, Oct. 4, in Lititz); Red Barn Challenge 6H/12H/24H (Friday, Oct. 4, in Lykens); Ginger Goudie Memorial 5K (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Mount Joy); Hartz PT Fall Blast 5K (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Lititz); Hop Dash 5K (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Hershey); Miller Mountain Trail Challenge 5M/25K (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Tunkhannock); Pirate 1M/5K/10K (Saturday, Oct. 5, in New Cumberland); Snack Town RunFest 5K/13.1 (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Hanover); Strasburg Half Marathon (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Strasburg); YMCA October Half Marathon (Saturday, Oct. 5, in Hollidaysburg); Black Forest Ultra 100K (Sunday, Oct. 6, in Hyner Run State Park); Blues Cruise 50K (Sunday, Oct. 6, in Reading); Holden’s Light 5K (Sunday, Oct. 6, in Harrisburg); Kyle Pagerly Memorial 5K (Sunday, Oct. 6, in Reading); Marshalton Triathlon (Sunday, Oct. 6, in West Chester); Shoes ‘N Brews Metric Marathon (Sunday, Oct. 6, in Conshohocken); Zoey’s Fun Run 5K (Sunday, Oct. 6, in York).
