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FOOT NOTES: The Great Tortoise Chase

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We only have so much energy to devote to exercise each day. We all hit the wall eventually, right? 

Our bodies and minds protect us by establishing limitations and giving us hints when we start to push ourselves too hard.

But it’s wild how all of this logic can get tossed right out the window when we are thrust into a desperate situation. If you’re being chased by an alligator, for example, it’s remarkable how long you can maintain that 40-yard dash pace.

I found myself in such a situation last week, when I had to bear the unbearable weight that comes with searching for a lost pet. 

My son was sobbing when he realized several hours later that he never brought our pet tortoise, Terry, back into the house after her backyard play time. The cries grew even louder as night fell and our search continued to bear no fruit. With no leads, we decided we’d resume our search in the morning and maybe catch our green-shelled friend sunbathing out in the open. 

But it was a sad morning when none of us could find Terry before it was time for the kids to go to school and for my wife to go to work. Feeling that heart-wrenching knot in the pit of my stomach, I rescheduled my landscaping gig and hit the streets just praying to find a clue about our beloved Terry. 

I walked for miles and miles and miles. I crawled through bushes and thorn patches, oblivious to the scratches taking form on my arms and legs. My body was disregarding the punishment, but my psyche was paying the toll as I envisioned the devastation of my family in the event I had to deliver bad news. With each passing hour, I started to lose a little bit of hope. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. 

But just when I needed it the most the hero of this story, Joe, came through with one of the happiest phone calls I’ve ever received.

Long time readers of this column may remember Joe as my friend who extended his life by getting his blood pressure and weight under control. On this day he was matched me mile for mile in our search for Terry. Just when Joe thought he had reached his limit, he leaned over a fence to catch his breath and on the other side he saw a happy tortoise who was living her best life in a garden feasting on hibiscus flowers. It was Terry! 

It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I scolded Terry (and took away her screen time for a month) before hugging her close to my chest and returning her to her indoor home.

After treating Joe to a well-deserved trip to the beer distributor, I collapsed into my bed with a feeling of grateful exhaustion. My body was finally willing to start paying the large tab it rang up. 

It was a price worth paying, seeing the smile on my daughter’s face and the relief in the eyes of my wife, as well as my son, who hopefully learned an important lesson at a fortunate discount. 

As it always seems to go with races involving tortoises, Terry has undoubtedly won this round. But as my eyes draw wearily to a close, I’m just happy to reach the finish line.

Thank you sincerely to everyone who helped us scour the neighborhood for this tortoise. We wouldn’t have been able to reunite without your efforts.

1 STEP BACK, 3 STEPS FORWARD

More than 100 runners gathered in Williamsport, Md. for the Gary Brown Memorial 5 Miler, but none were faster than Smithsburg’s Will Merritt.

Merritt, who ran collegiately at Mount St. Mary’s and Villanova, blazed through the race at a 5:05/mile clip to finish nearly a minute ahead of the field with a time of 25:31. Joining Merritt in the Top 10 was Greencastle’s Hayden Parks (6th in 28:11) and Joel Amstutz (8th in 28:21), while other solid finishes were posted by Chambersburg’s father-daughter duo of David Dymond (37:52) and Isabella Dymond (41:07).

Staying in Williamsport, it was a loose and fun atmosphere at the Tiki Trot 5K and beer mile, but that didn’t stop locals from throwing down some fast times. The 5K was highlighted by the efforts of Chambersburg’s Dallon Espinosa (26:35), Smithsburg’s Michael Morgan (27:26), and Waynesboro’s Jeffrey Hein (28:31). As for the beer mile race, it was Chambersburg’s Craig Leisher landing in ninth place with a time of 11:32.

The Gettysburg Brewfest Trail 5K tested the technical skills of the Local.News runners who had the guts to enter the race. Waynesboro’s Davey Miller (29:28) and Jennifer Miller (29:28) broke the 30-minute barrier in the race, while Greencastle’s Eric Kiefer and McKenzie Bowser each crossed the finish line with identical times of 34:13.

A number of other locals were involved in races across the region, including Waynesboro’s Bret Mower (28:42 at High Rock Mountain Challenge 3.8 Miler), Greencastle’s Heidi Hade (5:48:11 at Cook Forest 25K) and Sarah Gonyea (2:03:12 at Annapolis 10 Mile Run), and Chambersburg’s Carla Christian (35:19 at Fire Fightin’ 5K), Kayla Fisher (43:31 at Run Wild for Wildwood 5K), and Mary Ann Miller (26:19 at Yinzer 4.12K).

And now, a look ahead:

Labor Day Free 5K: Monday, 8 a.m., in Gettysburg. It costs exactly zero dollars to run in this race, which is presented by Healthy Adams County. Register for the race on runsignup.com.

Bird-In-Hand Half Marathon: Saturday, Sept. 9, 7:30 a.m., in Bird-In-Hand. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a local race with more beautiful scenery than this race, which runs through the lush countryside of Lancaster County. Learn more on bihhalfmarathon.com.

Harrisburg Half Marathon: Sunday, Sept. 10, 8 a.m., in Harrisburg. Walk, run, or shoot for your PR in this fast race, which starts and finishes on City Island. Learn more on hbgyrun.org.

Also: Bonefrog Challenge (Saturday, in Lancaster); Lighthouse 5K (Saturday, in Lykens); Luau 5K/10K (Saturday, in New Cumberland); Bull Dam Trail Run (Sunday, in North East); Labor Pain 12 Hour Endurance Run (Sunday, in Reading); Run for Autism Labor Day Half Marathon (Monday, in Youngwood); Steelers 5K (Monday, in Pittsburgh); Bird-In-Hand 5K (Friday, Sept. 8, in Bird-In-Hand); Five Loaves 5K (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Lebanon); Boulder Field Ultra (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Jim Thorpe); KTA Trail Challenge 25K (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Drumore); Luau 5K/10K/Half Marathon (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Boiling Springs); Luau 5K/10K/Half/Marathon (Saturday, Sept. 9, in York); Not One More Run for Recovery 5K (Saturday, Sept. 9, in York); Pine Creek Challenge 100 Mile (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Wellsboro); Ron Shields Perry 5000 (Saturday, Sept. 9, in New Bloomfield); Sasquatch Preservation Trail Run 5K/10K (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Seven Valleys); Tough Mudder Pittsburgh (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Slippery Rock); Troegs Rugged Trail Run for Conservation (Saturday, Sept. 9, in Millersburg); Brittany’s Hope Kids Fun Run (Sunday, Sept. 10, in Elizabethtown); Halbrendt Vineyard Wine Run 5K (Sunday, Sept. 10, in Orrtanna); Erie Marathon on Presque Isle (Sunday, Sept. 10, in Erie); Harrisburg JCC 5K (Sunday, Sept. 10, in Harrisburg); Nissley Vineyards 5K (Sunday, Sept. 10, in Bainbridge).

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