Oh, man, do I have one for you this time. I found this one on social media and it cracked me up so much, I knew I needed to share.
A woman’s cat was summoned for jury duty. Official paperwork and all. It was the cat’s name, Oscar, and her last name on the summons.
Thus began a story – that may not be true, since it’s on social media – but is flipping hilarious.
So she called in and tried to explain that Oscar couldn’t perform jury duty because he was a cat.
The clerk asked if the name was correct on the summons. She said yes, but he’s a cat. The clerk then asked if he was a legal resident.
She said he was a legal cat.
The clerk said if the name matches the records, he will need to appear for duty or file an exemption. She again said, he’s a cat.
The clerk said she could file on his behalf. She asked which exemption she should choose, seeing as how nothing on the paperwork said “I am a cat, I cannot appear.”
The clerk suggesting selecting medical reasons. She did so.
She then got another letter addressed to Oscar saying his reason was rejected for insufficient documentation. He needed a medical professional’s statement.
So she took the letter to her vet and explained the situation. The vet asked why on earth her cat got summoned for jury duty.
There really wasn’t a good answer to that question.
It turns out the vet wrote a letter saying the patient was unable to perform jury duty because of species-related limitations, including the inability to speak and/or comprehend legal proceedings.
It got rejected again.
The letter said summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court.
Her roommate laughed, saying that Oscar was surely headed for prison.
Oscar’s owner didn’t find it funny.
She decided her only option was to just bring Oscar to the courthouse for his jury duty. So on the day he was scheduled to appear, she gathered all the paperwork she had collected – including all her documentation and rejection letters – put Oscar in his carrier and headed to the court house.
She checked in using his name and the clerk looked at the carrier and asked if that was Oscar.
She said it was.
The clerk said, “but he’s a cat.”
She said she’d been trying to tell someone that for the last six weeks.
The clerk asked why didn’t she file an exemption. She handed them all the paperwork.
The supervisor was called over and said it was clearly a data error.
The cat owner agreed.
The supervisor apologized for the inconvenience and said he would be removed from the voter registry.
She thanked them and took Oscar home.
When she went into the office a few days later, she found him sleeping on his jury summons on the desk.
It seemed fitting.
I’m still laughing.
What an incredible story. I imagine there’s a possibility it may have been made up, but there is also a very real possibility that it wasn’t.
I’m just grateful that so far none of my cats have been summoned because, trust me, you wouldn’t want some of my felines making any decisions on a jury or any legal proceeding, really.
Cats on a jury. Man, what will we see next? Dogs sitting on a town council?
I can see the movie now…
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Jennifer Vanderau is the Public Relations Coordinator for the Cumberland Valley Animal Shelter and can be reached at [email protected]. The shelter accepts both monetary and pet supply donations. For more information, call the shelter at 263-5791 or visit the website www.cvas-pets.org. CVAS also operates a thrift store in Chambersburg. Help support the animals at the shelter by donating to or shopping at the store.
